“If you don’t see color, you don’t see me” is what I would say to my Masters Social Work University of Houston intern throughout her initial field placement at my firm last year. “If you can’t see that I am a rich mahogany, with a pinch of bronze, and an undertone of sweet reddish copper, you don’t see me. I don’t know who you see, but it can’t be me. I am an African American woman.”  It was my way of awakening her color consciousness and making it “okay” to see me as an African American. I told her that I saw her as a white woman. “It is all okay,” is what I would say.

I realized a couple of years ago that my belief in “color blindness” was no longer an acceptable belief for me. I needed to truly embrace my “color consciousness” in order to be free.  When I was a young girl in the mid-eighties, I was inspired by the Civil Rights movement of the 1960’s. Although 20 years earlier, the nonviolent protests of people of color proved to pave the way for my sense of safety and security. However, what emerged as the great resolve to racial tension was this concept called “color blindness”. I bought into this idea as a young girl. I used to feel so proud to say that I was color blind. “I don’t see color. I see everyone all the same. We are all human beings.” It made me feel so righteous, holy and in line with all the good and just people of the world.  Even more importantly, I felt safe and secure when acquaintances of different races would say these words to me. It was a relief to know that I was safe as a little black girl in a country that once treated people of my racial/ethnic descent as inferior and inhuman.

It has become increasingly apparent to me that “color blindness” was an illusion. It is not until a person confronts and overcomes what lurks in their color conscious mind can they embrace another’s humanity. Disproportionality in our government institutions is the consequence of us all living in the illusion of color blindness. It is my beliefs that until we awaken our color consciousness; openly dialogue about the good, the bad, and the ugly of what we discover; learn to feel safe talking about our perceptions, beliefs, and experiences through color conscious lenses can we reach pass our suppressed prejudice to connect to another’s soul. The privilege of color “blindness” is earned through the constant exercise of awakening one’s color consciousness.  It’s okay to see the skin that I am in because if you can’t see it then you will never see the real me.

I am so thankful for the hard work and dedication of my Masters Social Work University of Houston intern, Rhonda Arias. She embraced color consciousness and helped launched C.A.S.E. into another dimension. I grew in the process.